The consequences of #livingintheblack

The NFL has implemented stringent guidelines for players who commit domestic violence against women.

The recent video of the aftermath of an altercation between Ray Rice and his then, girlfriend (now wife), Janay Palmer, went viral on various media outlets. It also prompted NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to re-evaluate his organizations rules for punishing this type of behavior. I am not sure if you have seen the video, but here is a synopsis: The elevator doors open and he drops her. She falls to her knees, and then to the floor, but her feet prevent the doors from closing. The man is holding the woman’s purse as he tries to move her unconscious body out of the way using his feet, but she won’t budge. His struggle to lift and move her body from the floor does not appear that he’s helping her, but is as if he is exhausted from lifting a heavy pile of trash. He tries picking her up again, but unconscious bodies can be heavy, even for a 5-foot-8 208-pound running back in the NFL. The video ends.

This scenario saddens me. I am certain that this was not the first incident during their relationship. Many women and men want to keep this sort of thing a secret because it is embarrassing and of course it wasn’t meant to happen, but things got out of control. What concerns me is that this happened when Janay Palmer was Ray Rice’s girlfriend and now she is his wife. I am certain that they love each other and that they have worked through this ordeal. My message to this couple is that love is not suppose to be painful, violent or inflict pain in this manner. I understand the shame of experiencing violence. Missing the cautionary signs that something is wrong is not something to be proud of, but if you have a second chance, please recognize the signs and take action. I pray that this never happens again and that the topic of domestic violence is discussed more openly. Avoid #livingintheblack.

I am also sharing my story of #livingintheblack. Our choices are abundant. We just need to use our inner strength to make the right choices. Click here to learn more.

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